Goats=Marriage...Really?

My next featured story is of Dyrand, my oldest brother, and his wife's adventure of falling in love.  It too was a fast-paced courtship as you'll read below.  Let it be known that the Wagner men do not waste time.  LOL  They set their sites and the rest is history.  My parents have raised us with a high view of marriage, that it is meant for most people and so they start preparing us from very young.  All three of my brothers married young.


Dyrand (19) and Maegan (18)
Kyle (20) and Karissa (19)
Dylan (18) and Hannah (19)


My parents: Dad (21) and Mom (17)
My paternal grandparents: Grandfather (19) and Grandmother (16)
My maternal grandparents: Grandfather (26) and Grandmother (17)


So you see, we already have a heritage of young godly marriage examples that have worked out beautifully.  When people have asked my parents why they have allowed their sons to marry young, the response has been, "Why not?"  Why not figure life out together?  Proverbs 5:18 says...May your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  The prerequisite for my brothers to marry was that they had to have a good work ethic to be able to provide and be willing to spiritually lead a family.  If you ask any one of those six couples above if they regret marrying young, their answer will emphatically be no. 


Dyrand and Maegan were married on August 21, 2010 and almost four years later, they now have two beautiful children and another one joining the Wagner clan in mid-August. :)  That's three children under two years old!  As I said before, children are a blessing!


Blessings,
Ashley

____________________________________________________

Dyrand & Maegan's Courtship Story

as told by Kelly Wagner (my mom)

Purposeful Friendship/Getting to Know One Another- May 2009

Courtship Began- June 4, 2009

Engaged- July 4, 2009

 Married- August 20, 2010

How did our families meet?

In September 2006 the Wagners were in the market to purchase a few goats for their newly acquired hobby farm. After doing a Google search, we discovered the Smith family were the closest goat breeders. We met the entire lovely family-Greg, Desiree and their 6 daughters and 1 son. We discovered that evening that we had several core values in common such as homeschooling, theology and modesty. It was a family that we thought would be great to develop the relationship; however, life became busy and we did not see them again for two years.

When did Dyrand and Maegan become acquainted?

In the fall of 2008, we felt that we needed to seek out godly friendships for our children. The Smiths had a church fellowship in their home. Because of the impression the Smith family left on us, we thought it would be nice to visit with their fellowship occasionally on Sunday afternoons after our church service was over. 

In January 2009, Dyrand was speaking at various churches as he was preparing to begin his journey into missionary aviation. The Smith’s fellowship invited him to speak and sing there. Shortly thereafter, Dyrand met with Greg to ask his permission to get to know Maegan better as a friend in order to consider beginning a courtship sometime in the future. Greg asked Dyrand some questions such as what his short-term goals were, where he was headed vocationally, his spiritual life and how he would like to get to know Maegan better. Greg and Desiree decided it was fine for Dyrand and Maegan to email casually. It started out about once a week. By the time May rolled around, the emails were flying back and forth at a rate of 4-5 a week sometimes multiple daily. They discussed everything from birding to theology. It should be said that Maegan had no idea that Dyrand met with Greg and was considering a courtship for the purpose of protecting Maegan’s heart. In the meantime, the Smiths and the Wagners scheduled family work days together as well as game nights. This gave Dyrand and Maegan an opportunity to develop their friendship more face-to-face.

During the month of May 2009, Greg asked to meet with Dyrand. He told him it was obvious that heart strings were growing rapidly and it was time to make a decision to court Maegan with the intention of marrying her or walk away. Greg met with Dyrand a few more times to discuss everything from Dyrand’s theology, his finances, purity, what headship in the home would look like, birth control, etc… It was a thorough time of evaluation to decide if Dyrand was capable of leading a family physically, emotionally and spiritually.

June 3rd, Greg and Desiree gave their blessing for Dyrand to court Maegan. Dyrand wrote a sweet letter summarizing how much the previous few months meant to him and how Maegan’s friendship had blessed him. He told her of his intentions to serve on the mission field. At the end of the letter he asked if she would do him the honor of beginning a courtship with him to seek out if it was the Lord’s will for them to be joined in marriage. He then read the letter and recorded it on a DVD. Greg took the DVD home to Maegan. He told her it was a mission’s presentation of sorts. Maegan’s response was one of surprise and great delight. She said yes! 

On June 7th, both sets of parents along with the couple met to discuss how the courtship would look. Greg asked Dyrand what his physical boundaries were going to be. Dyrand responded that his desire was that there would be absolutely no physical touch until the wedding day- no handholding, hugging, kissing, etc… He then asked Dyrand how he intended to accomplish this and the response was that he and Maegan would never be out of sight of a sibling, parent or grandparent. They could talk privately but always in view of accountability. Maegan agreed to this.  Neither set of parents had imposed these boundaries on Maegan and Dyrand.  It is not a biblical mandate.  However, they wanted to marry in 100% purity and felt that was a way to achieve that. 

Because Dyrand was going to be leaving August 22nd to attend SMAT in Michigan for a year, both families made every opportunity possible for them to get together before he left so as to see if this was going to be a courtship ending in marriage or parting ways.

Since February, both sets of parents and Dyrand began praying as to whether this relationship was the Lord’s will. Greg felt so certain that Dyrand was God’s choice for his daughter, so much so that Dyrand requested to propose marriage to Maegan on July 3rd with Greg and Desiree’s (Jim and Kelly’s as well) full blessing.

What next?

While we do not recommend a long engagement if the couple sees each other often, both parents knew that Maegan and Dyrand would be able to maintain purity as Dyrand was going to be away for an entire year with the exception of a week home at Christmas.  

The wedding date was pending Dyrand’s graduation from SMAT and having full-time employment. In June of 2010, SMAT hired Dyrand on to do an A&P internship. He graduated from SMAT on August 13th. Dyrand and Maegan married on August 20th, 2010.

Did they maintain purity in their relationship?

Yes! The very first time they touched was when Greg placed Maegan’s hand in Dyrand’s at the altar. After Jim (who officiated the wedding) declared them husband and wife, they left the sanctuary to share their first kiss in private while the congregation worshiped singing several hymns. It was a precious time of celebration.

Are all courtships done this way?

No. Every courtship is different. Families are different. The goal of courtship is to determine whether it is the Lord’s will for the couple to marry or part ways without sacrificing physical intimacy, being bound emotionally, etc… The purpose is to sort and glorify God with the relationship.





The Whirlwind Romance of Dylan & Hannah Wagner

G'day!

I have a very special article today!  My sister-in-law has kindly agreed to give me her courtship/love story.  It was a whirlwind romance to be sure.  It was a beautiful testimony to others watching of how Christ was the center and He was glorified through it all. 

Dylan and Hannah made the decision together to have no physical contact whatsoever; their first touch and kiss was in the wedding on April 19, 2014!   The moment that Hannah’s father placed her hand in Dylan’s was precious.  Now that the wedding is over, they say they wouldn’t do anything different.  It was worth the wait. 

The Lord led Dylan to a wonderful godly wife and I now have the three best sisters-in-law in the world!  By the way, Hannah is expecting their first child in January!  Yay!!! Children are a blessing!

Enjoy!  ~Ashley 

PS. For some reason I am unable to post pics on my blog.  I'll have to look into that.  If you'd like to see some wedding pictures, check out the Wassenberg blog.

Daddy and I sang this song in the wedding.  Please forgive the recording quality.  We did it on our cell phone. :)  Just click the link below to hear it. The lyrics are beautiful!

The Marriage Prayer

Our Story

Written by Hannah Wagner

Well, I've decided to post the love story God wrote for Dylan and I in full so people don't have to jump around the blog to get the entire picture –www.wassenbergfamily.blogspot.com) 

It all started on a mid-wintery day in February.  I had joined an online forum of homeschool graduates (homeschoolalumni.org) in November of 2012.  I didn’t really expect anything from it but daddy had always said he thought we might find a young man on there.  Then, on the evening of February 7th a young man from Nebraska sent me a message and asked if he could friend me and possibly write me every-now-and-again.  After talking it over with daddy I agreed on February 8th, 2013.

 For a little over 5 months Dylan and I sent frequent emails back and forth…mainly talking about our lives; who we were, what we were doing, our family, our church, etc.  Nothing too deep or spiritual, just common, every day, down to earth conversations.  I really didn’t think anything of it but I knew enough about him to tell Kimber sometime in June that I viewed him and one other person as possible suitorsJ!  Then on July 27th it happened.

 I had just gotten into bed that night when momma came up and whispered that she and daddy wanted to talk to me downstairs.  My heart was pounding….there was only two reasons momma and daddy would ask me to come downstairs: 1. I had done something wrong or 2. Somebody had asked to court me.  I hurried down and after settling on the couch daddy told me that a young man had called and asked about me J.  Happily daddy asked me to guess who..I was like “Dylan???” and he responded “yes”.  I was excited and nervous all at once.  I had always hoped that I would be married young, actually I had prayed about it quite frequently, but I had surrendered that dream over to the Lord and I honestly thought I would not be getting married until my mid-twenties!  After a nearly sleepless night of prayer and rejoicing I called and said “yes” to a courtship with Dylan on July 28th, 2013.

For the next two weeks or so we questioned each other on every hard theological question we could think of as well as some easy ones like our personality, favorite color, sleeping habits, etc. !  We communicated at first mainly through email and then by phone.  By the middle of August we had proceeded as far as we could have without knowing each other in person.  We knew it was time for us to see each other.  Dylan booked a flight on August 13th to come out from the mid-west to Virginia in September.  My emotions were every which way.  I knew I liked this young man a lot but I was slightly nervous about meeting him in person.  We had no red flags in this relationship so far but his visit would really be the turning point in the relationship- either closer to marriage or completely broken off

On Monday, September 9th, 2013 Dylan landed in Dulles International Airport at 7:26 PM. to spend two weeks with my family and I.  Daddy picked him up, with some of the younger children and then made the 2 hour trek back down to our house.  We had agreed to a “handsoff” relationship from the very beginning (this was a personal decision that we made in order to stay pure physically) so when he first walked in our front door, with a suitcase as big as Josiah, we simply said hello and waved awkwardly J.  Those first two weeks were different from what I was expecting.  When Dylan left we had actually called off the courtship indefinitely.  We liked each other physically and respected each other spiritually but we just weren’t feeling a whole lot of sparks.  After praying and at the encouragement and advice of our parents, Dylan called and asked me to fly out and spend 10 days with him and his family as a friend.  I agreed and traveled to Omaha, Nebraska on October 5th.  I left IAD at 9:35AM and, after a brief layover in Detroit, arrived in the mid-west at 1:17 PM.  I had a lovely visit with Dylan and his family.  On Monday, October 7th we left for a 3 day trip to Tulsa, Oklahoma to visit the Wagner’s cousin who had recently been in a pretty bad car accident.  On Tuesday night, after traveling quite a ways and visiting with their cousin, we finally arrived at a hotel for the night.  By the time we finally got settled in our rooms it was well past midnight.  At 1:25AM, Dylan texted me to ask if I would like to go to breakfast with him the next morning.  I agreed.  We went down to the restaurant in the hotel and made our plates.  I tried to keep up a little bit of a conversation but Dylan didn’t seem very interested in talking.  After we finished he leaned back in his chair, put his hands on his head and said “You know, I don’t think this “just friends” thing is going to work anymore”.  I was like “what” but then he said he was becoming rather fond of me and that he would like to officially in person ask to court me!  I said yes!

After that things moved pretty quickly!  A week after I left NE Dylan came back east on October 22nd and spent a week here and then on November 21st, 2013 I flew out to NE again.  I landed in Omaha at 2:15PM and Dylan met again but this time he had a dozen roses.  I was like, “Oh, how sweet” but nothing else really crossed my mind.  We headed down to pick up my bag again but then we went back up the escalators.  We began to cross the bridge connecting the parking garage and the airport.  We were about halfway across when we stopped and he said “I have something else for you”.  He then said “Hannah, I love you” and stooping on one knee while reaching for a ring case from his pocket asked “Will you marry me?”.  I said yes!

It was such a blessing for Dylan and I to have almost 2 weeks together as an engaged couple. 
We planned a wedding originally for April 12th but had to move it to April 19th, 2014. 
We’ve since had several more visits and our love has blossomed!  We are eager to begin married life in a just a few weeks! 

Something I learned through this all was that when God writes your love story you must learn to expect the unexpected!  God’s stories are the best…be patient and in His time all your dreams will come to past.

 “Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart!.” 

Psalm 37:4
God Bless,

Dylan ♥ Hannah

Courtship~The Road Less Traveled

This seems like an appropriate time to introduce my chosen method of preparing for marriage otherwise known as courtship.  Whether you call it Christian dating or courtship is rather irrelevant.  It is really the purpose behind the relationship that matters. 

Ever since I was old enough to start noticing boys, beyond mud puddles and sling shots, my parents wanted not only me but my older brothers to realize the mistakes they made in dating and not to follow in their steps.  In my parent’s generation, courtship was a term used when describing how their great grandparents may have prepared for marriage--rather old fashioned.  Dating  was a 'figure-it-out-on-your-own' situation which many times didn't end well at all and still doesn’t. 

My parents taught us just how important finding the right mate was.  It's not something to caper with.  The way it is now, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce.  I think we can agree that there has to be a better way.  Modern dating is simply practicing for divorce.  We encourage each other to try this guy out or that one because you can't possibly know after just one relationship, right?  If we're not happy with the relationship, why let's just end it and find another guy.  I beg to differ.  It doesn't have to be that way. 

All three of my brothers approached a pending relationship for the very purpose of sorting marriage; it wasn't a game to be played.  They never kissed or held hands with anyone but their wives.  Strange?  Maybe.  But as Christians, we are called to be set apart, even in preparing for marriage.  In fact, every aspect of our lives should be a testimony and evidence of who Christ is to us.  So with that thought in mind, it is with great delight that I consider courtship.   

What might courtship look like in the Wagner home?  Well…all of my brother’s relationships were different.  Perhaps tomorrow I will share Dylan and Hannah’s story.  They just married on April 19^th.  A true love story for certain. J  Back to the process.  If a man wishes to get to know me in order to consider the possibility of courting me, he must first go to my dad.  I treasure my father’s input in my life and consider it a privilege to have his leadership and guidance in this area.  The young man and Dad will sort through the most important issues such as theology and other possible deal-breakers.  When all of those significant questions have been answered and after a time of praying—the young man, my parents, hopefully his parents and me—if all parties feel good about proceeding, then it’s time for me and the guy to begin to get to know one another.  Providing things proceed well, then a courtship is evident which is simply a commitment to continue to get to know each other more in order to pursue marriage.  It’s all very exciting! 

Preparing to be a Helpmeet- Study

My mom and I are currently going through the book- Preparing to Be a Helpmeet by Debi Pearl.  The next several posts will include an overview of the first six chapters.
Next to salvation, marriage is the biggest decision you will ever make.  Take it seriously.  If you're single, this is the time to prepare.  We haven't gotten very far into the study but I've found it undoubtedly helpful.  I've been learning the power my prayers can have on my future husband even if I don't yet know him by name.  My prayers don't go unheard because Christ knows who he is.  He's out there somewhere battling temptation and who knows what else.  He needs someone fervently lifting him up in prayer.
This past week or so, I've been developing the habit of praying for my husband-to-be asking the Lord to give him strength in his day and to combat temptation also for wisdom in his workplace.  Last but not least, I pray that he will follow the Lord's leading come what may. 
It may seem strange at first, praying for the mystery man but just think...your prayers aren't in vain. They are being raised to the God of the universe on behalf of the man He is preparing for you!  Wow, what a thought!  What a privilege!
"...The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." James 5:16 KJV
"This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him."  1 John 5:14-15

So why blog?

Welcome!  I hope it will be an encouragement to you as I share about my passions and pursuits. 

So why blog?  I'm heading off to college soon---1700 miles from home.  I'd like to stay in touch with family and friends.  I'm also eager to show how Christ is working in my life as a testimony of what He is able to do in yours as well.


Life is busy and the tyranny of the urgent takes over but I do hope to post at least weekly.  Feel free to comment as it makes things more interesting. 


Have a blessed day!